Copier Murderer

I murdered the copier. It's ok no one likes it anyway.

I was in the middle of a normal work day, running around the building, putting together 70 books for our Executive Board Meeting the end of April. They are over 120 pages a piece. So I send 70 copies of about five color pages to the beloved Sharpe copier. Okay, so it's not beloved. It fact it is the biggest pain. Everyone gripes about it. After it had made oohh about 6 copies it told me the stapler was jammed. Well it did the same thing yesterday, so I reached down to the front left door, opened it up, pulled out the long drawer like cartridge, and then pulled out the stapler cartridge. I fiddled around with it and stuck it back in. Praying that I fixed it.

You see your have to baby the Sharpe, if you leave it alone it gets mad at you and acts like a hypochondriac. The paper jams, or its out of staples (when it really isn't). It just needs special attention.

So I wait, it tells me that there is still something wrong with the staples, so I fiddle again. Several times. The third time the cartridge thingy got stuck. After I manipulated it enough to finally set it free,...it happened.

All of a sudden there was a loud POP! Plastic went flying. Sheets of staples flew about like confetti on New Year's Eve. Worst of all...I was caught in the act. Several girls in the office were in the workroom and saw my crime. They laughed and said..ugghh I hate that machine.

Emily had mercy on me. She saw that I was about to throw the Sharpe out the window (if there was a window I would have thrown it out). So Emily helps me pick up the pieces of the stapler cartridge. It was like one of those mind puzzles. After an hour of messing with it, we finally called in re-enforcements...Darla. Now Darla can do anything. If anything breaks, she is the woman to call. Darla fiddled with it, and informed me that she was going to have to call the tech people to come out and fix it.

Now you would think I could just keep making my copies and staple them on my own...right? NO the Sharpe doesn't work when the cartridge is missing or empty (it's like an annoying printer that doesn't work in one of the ink cartridges is out...you know like when you just want to print in black and white, but the pink is out so it won't print at all!)

I could feel the disdain from other people. They couldn't make their 5 million copies. They looked at me like I was a murderer...I guess in a way I am.

I murdered the Sharpe today....I've never been a murderer before.