God Met Me (My Story Part 4)

I battled the Lord in my prayers. I doubted everything God was doing. I was angry God was doing this to me. Didn't He know I had been faithful to Him? I doubted that He was good. 

For the first time in my life I experienced a crisis of faith. More and more each day I doubted God’s faithfulness and struggled to believe He allowed this in my life. My view of Him was crumbing. What was wrong? What had I done to deserve this? Why God????

I Didn’t have an Accurate View of God

My view of God was falling apart because my view of Him was wrong. My view was shaped by what I thought about God, instead of what Scripture said about Him. I based my knowledge of God around experience. I formed my own truth from what I thought instead of allowing the Word to shape what I knew to be true. I realized that I didn’t know the Bible the way I thought I did and I didn’t know God the way I thought I did. My view of Him was warped by experience instead of shaped by His Word.

God Allowed my Struggle

I believed God only allowed good things for His people. I missed a vital truth found in His Word: all of God’s people struggle. I struggled to believe Romans 8:28 “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose”.  How could God call this good? I didn't know. I felt so alone.

God Met Me in my Struggle

God did not leave me to struggle alone. Girls Campout came and my co-counselor and I packed up our campers and headed out to the lake for an overnight campout. Lindsey Kane was there to lead worship for the girls. I didn’t know anything about Lindsey, but was grateful that I didn’t have to entertain my girls all night. In my brokenness I simply had nothing left to give.

I sat down to listen to the music and there God met me. I cried through every song as God reached out to me through Lindsey’s music. People stared at me, the tears would not stop. Lindsey shared her great heartbreak that led to the writing of many of the songs she sang. There at Girls Campout God met me in my struggle and pursued me.

God Walked through it with Me

God used Lindsey’s song The Valley to make one thing clear: He was not going to take me out of this struggle. He was not going to quickly restore me. Yet, He had not left me to do it alone. He was there to hold my hand all along the way.

The Valley Chorus:

You didn’t take me out of it
But You’re showing me in it 
You didn’t lift me out of it 
But You’re lifting me up in it 
You didn’t pull me out of it 
But You’re pulling me towards You in it 
And I know I’ll be okay

I didn't know it yet, but I had only started my trudge through the valley. God had not left me there to figure it out for myself. He was working this out for my good, it just didn't feel good. God was not going to take me out of the valley, but He would walk through it with me.

Want to read My Story from the beginning? Go Here

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