Hello, I'm a Pharisee

I stood during the invitation and searched the crowd for my friend. These thoughts raced through my head “I sure hope her heart was open to that message and it convicted her. I wonder if she will go up front and pray. Goodness that message was just for her.”

In Luke 18, a Pharisee and a tax collector both went to the temple to pray. They prayed two very different prayers. The Pharisee prayed like this to himself “God, thank you that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get.” The tax collector, unable to even lift his eyes prayed “God be merciful to me, the sinner!”

I am that Pharisee
I so badly want to tell you that I am like the tax collector, but I know I am the Pharisee.

Continue reading this post I wrote for Transform Student.

Digging Up Dandelions

Feeling crushed I hung my head. My heart hurt, worried, knowing my words would not be well received. This part of ministry hurts for a people pleaser like me. I sent my husband a text telling him about the conversation. He encouraged me telling me I did the right thing.

My head spun with lies spurring on the disappointment. Why does this bother me so much? Why am I seeking their affirmation? The lies grew: If they don't love you, this ministry will fail, you will fail. 

God is trying to get my attention; there have been too many “coincidences” lately. To many times the enemy has whispered what a failure I am because so-in-so was upset with me or so-in-so was avoiding me. The Lord is telling me to dig deeper and deal with the heart issue. 

It’s not enough for me to confess I am a people pleaser, I must dig deeper. I cannot simply acknowledge there is a problem and move on as if it does not exist.  I must get to the larger issue governing my heart. I must get to the root and dig it out.

I am reminded of my mother who taught me to dig up dandelions. “You have to make sure you get the root,” she would say. “If you don’t get the root, the dandelion will just come back.”

My people pleasing heart is a lot like a dandelion. I want to just pluck off the top part thinking it will solve the issue. And for a while it works. On the outside everything seems to be fine, the dandelion seems to be gone. Yet the weed grows back and the root is even stronger than before. 

Have you ever seen a dandelion root? They are long and root deep. My mom had a special tool that was long and forked at the end. You stuck it down in the ground and pushed back and forth. The ground would loosen, the top soil would pop as it detached from the root. Then the entire dandelion (flower, leaves, and stem) would come right out of the ground.

It’s time that I dig deep, loosen the soil of my heart, and figure out where that root goes in my heart. I’ve got to dig up that deeply rooted dandelion that has sprouted in my heart.

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