In the midst of mess, chaos, and wreckage I am trying to figure out what does God want from me. What is the outcome of it all? How is my life supposed to change as a result of all that God is showing me. As I am reading 7 and pondering it all, I cannot help but wonder, Jen how did this ultimately change your life? I see how God spoke to you each month, but what was the final outcome? When 7 was finished how did it change the way you live? Maybe, she gets there in the end, but you see I haven’t finished the book yet. My other struggle has been, what about these 7 areas Jen talks about. Should I follow in her steps and do them? I tend to be legalistic my nature, but I do not want to do something just to do it and have no heart change at the end. So I’ve thought and pondered and wanted to share some of the things I am learning. Some of the ways I am trying to practice the principles in 7.
As a foundation, I am learning that my focus must change. I have spent much time focusing on myself: Clothes, my nice apartment, protecting my time, etc. And I need to place my focus on things that are outside of myself. Ultimately that is what I feel God calling me to. To be willing to step outside myself. To spend less time and money on me and more time and money on others.
So how do I do that? What does that look like? Well, I don’t have it all figured out. But one thing that I know is that God is asking me to spend more of my time disciplining others. If you know me, you know that discipleship has always been my heart beat. I whole-heartedly believe that we are missing the call of the Great Commission when we share the gospel and puff up with pride that someone “accepted Christ”. We stop there and people get tossed by the wayside because we don’t teach them anything other than they need Jesus. I have been complaining about this fact for many years. I am looking at my small group at church and realizing that they are seniors and they don’t know Truth(as in the Bible), they can’t study their Bible on their own. And I am fearful for them to leave and go out on their own, without any Biblical foundation to stand on. And as I complain and shutter in fear I hear Jesus (in my face) whispering in my ear “Oh yeah, so what are you gonna do about it?” Mostly when God talks to me it a massive blow to the head. Once I came out of the sheer surprise to what God was saying, I decided it is time for me to actively take a part in the problem. I honestly feel foolish for waiting so long. But I know that God is more than capable of filling in the gaps of my foolishness. So, after Spring Break, I will be starting a Bible Study for the senior girls at my church along with the college girls my hubby is minister over. And I am SO excited. I can seriously hardly wait.
I have also been dealing with the “junk” around my apartment. I keep asking myself “where did this come from?” and then I realize, “Umm dummy you bought it.” I have been purging my apartment like crazy. Looking for anything that I can get rid of. Asking myself why I’ve held on to some of these things so long. And I realize, that I have allowed myself to be attached to stuff. I wouldn’t call myself a hoarder, no I am a saver. Doesn’t that sound better? Well, that “saving” has gotten me more things than I know what to do with. We live in a one bedroom apartment and ya’ll some of this stuff has got to go!! So this weekend I am having a garage sale with my SIL and MIL. And it’s GOING!!! I am also dealing with “junk” in other ways. I spent a couple of nights cleaning up my recipe board on Pinterest. I had SO many recipes I could never find the ones I wanted. (Dear makers of Pinterest, please create an easier way of re-organizing our boards. This one-by-one moving thing is for the birds!) I am also trying to be more conscious about what I pin so as to not have the same problem again. I’ve also struggled with emotional junk (um yeah that was my last post), and the physical junk at my desk at work. I actually took down everything in my cubical and completely re-did it (Cost: $0 because I used stuff I already had that I remembered I had when I began the purge at home).
God’s kingdom must be my focus. I know you are probably SO tired about hearing the word kingdom. I’m honestly kind of tired of hearing it myself. But God continues to bring it to my mind via: sermons, songs, conversations, blogs, FB, etc. I just cannot get away from it. I know God wants more of Him and less of me. I know I have been way too focused on myself. I am praying that my kingdom will continue to be exposed and that His kingdom will become the center of who I am.
I know this is just the beginning. I know that God is asking me to stop, think, pray, and be more intentional. I know that I often get in the way. I am so grateful I am not in it alone. He is right here with me, getting in my face, calling me to Him, and reshaping me.
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