The past few weeks God has really been dealing with me. It began with my general disgust toward the clutter in our (the hubby and I's) apartment. While visiting a friend's new house I was comforted by the simple decor in her house. It was beautiful and clean and sleek. It honestly was so soothing to me. We came home to our one bedroom apartment (I love our apartment by the way) and it seemed like there was clutter and chaos everywhere. It grossed me out!
Then two weeks of me being sick during the weekend allowed the chaos to grow along with the laundry and the dust on my furniture.
Along the way I have been reading my friend Heather's blog. She was reading this book I had been hearing about called Seven: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker. Initially, I was opposed. It seemed like pure legalism to me, and I was not up for that! But then my friend just kept writing and ya'll it starting getting to me. What she was writing about was real and honest. It has nothing to do with legalism and it intrigued me and messed with me at the same time.
Between my friend's blog and the growing chaos of stuff around me I just about lost it. I texted my friend and told her she was getting to me and that I was exhausted by the junk around me. She so sweetly encouraged me to read the book. She even added me to a Facebook group she started for others reading the book. I am so grateful to be apart of a group of ladies trying to walk in transparency.
Well this weekend I walked into a book store and ya'll I bought that book. I started reading it yesterday. I've already read two chapters, and I would like to share with you something that is sticking out to me.
Jen Hatmaker's book covers seven months of fasting. She fasts in different ways, mostly by reducing down to 7 things each month (7 foods, 7 pieces of clothing, etc). As I have been reading one phrase she says has really gotten under my skin.
"Jesus, may there be less of me and my junk and more of You and Your kingdom."
WOW big slap in the face right there. Less of me and my junk is something I have been desiring. In fact I have been craving a more simplistic lifestyle and home. But to be frank with you I hadn't thought about more of God's kingdom. I have only considered my little kingdom that I have been creating and wanting to clean it up and clear it out. Often our world encourages the creating of our little kingdoms. I mean seriously, have you seen Pinterest? What about Facebook? They are all about building your own kingdom and making yourself known. Man I totally missed it you guys! I've missed the whole point!
And in that God is dealing with me. He is in my face and asking to dust out the recesses of my heart. And I am so uncomfortable with it all. This morning I walked around my apartment in disgust with myself. I immediately started opening drawers and clearing out my clothes. Yes I still have things to wear, but gosh there is so little that I actually wear, it's ridiculous!
As uncomfortable as I currently am, I know that the uncomfort has only begun. God is wrecking my life for His Kingdom. I am terrified. I have no idea what is ahead and no idea of what God is going to do in my heart, my home, my marriage. But at the same time I am excited to hear from the Lord. I know it is when we are most uncomfortable that we see that God is truly enough in our lives. I pray that I am strong enough to walk in obedience. Until then stay tuned for I am sure there is more wreckage in my future. May there me less of me and More of Him!
No comments:
Post a Comment