Spa Night

Remember Spa Night from last year? I brought it back again to close out finals week for our college girls. Our girls enjoyed relaxing and having fun together. 

Manicure Station

We used the kitchen table for manicures. I bought a plastic table cloth and found some super cute paper place mats at Hobby Lobby (they were in the summer section, not the party section).  

I used a serving tower to display the nail polish and laid out polish remover, cotton balls, clippers, and nail files. I bought a special base coat and top coat for a gel manicure hack I read about here. 

I also created prints for each station. These prints are available for you to download. Look for the link at the end of this post.
Pedicure Station

We used the living room for pedicures. Two vinyl tablecloths covered the floor for protection. I placed the foot baths on top of the tablecloths.

On the coffee table I placed polish remover, cotton balls, scented foot soak, a Satin Hands Set, and lotion.

We removed our polish, soaked our feet, and used the Satin hands to scrub and soften our feet. Then back to the manicure station for polish! 

Facial Station

Facials were super simple, but lots of fun. I bought a clay mask and a pack of washcloths for facials. Each washcloth was ran under water, wrung out, rolled, and placed in a crockpot on low. By the time we did facials the washcloths were nice and steamy.

Note: I did move the temperature from low to warm at some point, but I don’t remember exactly how long I left it on low. 

Snack Station

I fail you here because I don’t have pictures. For snacks we had: a veggie tray, mini quiche, Mississippi mud cake, chex mix, and Spa Water.

How to Make Spa Water

1 cucumber

2 small lemons

2 pitchers

Thinly slice the lemon and cucumber.  Place an even amount of sliced cucumber and lemon in each pitcher. Fill the pitchers with water and allow them to chill in the refrigerator for at least an hour before the party. 

Host Your Own

Want to host your own Spa Night? I encourage you to keep things simple. You will be surprised how the simple things make the biggest impact like a fun table cloth, place mats, and prints I designed myself. Another way I kept things simple was by buying my snacks and asking others for help. All I did was go into the grocery store and buy mini quiche and a veggie tray.

I also encourage you to borrow and ask for freebies. I borrowed all of the foot baths from friends. My Mary Kay consultant donated the Satin Hands Set. I used many  items I already had at home: serving trays, bowls, vinyl table cloths, hand towels, bath salt, crockpot, polish, nail clippers, etc.  By borrowing and asking for donations I was able to keep my cost to a minimum.

Click here to use my prints at your own Spa Night

 

Bitterness Rises Up (My Story Part 3)

I sat on Sally’s porch. Sally was Girls Camp Director and basically my boss for the summer. She asked me if I thought I could make it through the summer. I knew she needed me to make it through the summer. I had signed a contract for 10 weeks, so I didn’t think I had much of a choice. I said yes.

Then Sally said these words “Ashlee, do not give Satan a foothold.” She cautioned me to guard my heart. In my brokenness I bowed up against her. I wondered how she could even think I would allow the enemy to have a foothold in my life. Arrogance poured out of me and I became angry.

Over the next few days everything began to change and my anger grew. People came up to me telling me that they just knew we would get back together. I wanted to shout at them. Other people chose a side and stopped talking to me. I didn’t realize I would lose some of my friends too. Again, anger spewed out of my heart.

I was hurt and angry. I didn’t understand it, but bitterness rose up in my heart. I believed that I had to be tough. I believed I had to wear a nice, pretty, smiling face. So I did the only thing I knew to do to survive. I pushed the anger and hurt deep down into my heart and tried to feel nothing at all.

Bitterness Started with Anger
My anger didn’t go away. It flowed into bitterness. Every time I got angry bitterness grew. Every time I saw him around camp my blood boiled. I was angry that He didn’t seem to care about me and moved on so quickly. I was angry he could laugh and didn’t hurt like me. I was angry every time I saw a girl go up and talk to him. My anger made way for bitterness.

Anger is NOT a Right
I believed I had a right to be angry. He had hurt me. It was all his fault. I held on to my anger and believed I had every right to hold tight.  Scripture says differently: “Do not be eager in your heart to be angry, For anger resides in the bosom of fools.” It is never our right to be angry. Yet I believed I had every right to be angry.

I Refused to Forgive
I didn’t want to forgive him. I knew that Scripture said forgive those who hurt us and pray for our enemies. I was not about to forgive him. My hurt was real, it was deep, and he was not getting out of this. I believed that to forgive him meant he would get off the hook for all the hurt he had caused me. I didn’t realize I was the only one hurt by my refusal to forgive.

Bitterness is a Dark Pit
Bitterness did not come quickly, but slowly rose up in my heart. It started as a simple thought, which moved to anger. As I held onto that anger it grew to bitterness. Bitterness dropped down into a dark pit. Bitterness took hold in my heart. Eventually I ended up in full depression. I was down so deep I didn’t know how to climb out.

I Gave Satan a Foothold
As I walked in bitterness I walked in sin. I allowed the enemy to have a foothold in my life that did not belong to him. Sally knew what she was talking about when she warned me. The foothold of bitterness gave way to more footholds. I was not cautious to guard my heart against the enemy.  I gave the enemy permission to mess with me. He lied to me over and over again.  I didn’t even recognize his lies because I was blinded by my bitterness.

The battle in my heart and mind has just begun. Anger and bitterness bubbled and boiled within me. Had God left me here to sit in my pain all alone? Would He rescue me and take me out of this mess? 

Just joining My Story? Read Part One and Part Two

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The Longest Summer (My Story Part Two)

My friend Katie and I drove back to camp. I felt sick, my heart crumbled into pieces. TEN weeks. I still had ten weeks to work at  summer camp. Our first of four camps had not even begun. I doubted whether I had the strength to finish one camp let alone the entire summer. I knew that God had made one thing clear. The relationship that held my future and all my dreams was to end. I knew his heart was already gone. I wasn't sure exactly where it went, but I knew it was over.

Could it really be that just two weeks before he shopped for an engagement ring for me? Wasn’t I just standing in a bridal shop trying on wedding gowns? What happened? Did someone change his mind? Was there someone else? I wondered if our relationship had been real. Had he ever loved me? I even doubted God and His hand in any of this. Yet at the same time I had this weird sense of relief. I felt like I was drowning and just coming up for air at the same time. My future was completely blank and it terrified me.

I walked back into camp still unable to eat. Even the sight of food made me want to throw up. I knew I needed to eat, I just couldn't. The sickness I felt in my heart had traveled to my stomach. I didn't want to see him. I couldn't even look at him. Apparently he felt the same, he avoided every space I filled. And we hadn't even broken up yet.

Camp began, parents dropped off their kids and I became mother to campers for two weeks. I had to focus on them and couldn't let myself get in the way. I wasn't sure how or if I could do it. Yet I pressed on with a forced smile and a broken heart. I only saw him in passing. He was busy running the horse barn and I was with kids 24/7.  How could we break up if we never actually talked? I knew it was coming and I just wanted it to be over.

Finally my favorite night arrived...move night. I took my kids out to the hill in their pj's. They carried sleeping bags, blankets, and pillows, ready to watch a movie under the stars. My co-counselor had the night off and I was ready to sit numbly and watch a movie. At the same time I wondered if tonight would be the night. I hadn’t seen him, so I assumed he had the night off. As I approached the hill, there he was setting up the movie. My stomach dropped. I got my girls situated knowing I wasn't going to see the movie. I asked my friend Katie to watch my girls. After the movie started he and I went to the climbing tower to talk, my stomach rolled. The Incredibles played in the background as I listened and waited for the words to come. I didn’t fight it. As he spoke the words I expected my world, my plans, my future crumbled around me. I knew I had to trust God, but I doubted Him at the same time. We said we would still be friends. I wondered if we could be. We hugged and walked back to the movie just as it finished. No one else knew my life had forever changed or that my heart was gone. The last shards of my broken heart left at that climbing tower. I looked at my friend Katie. She asked with her eyes if it had happened. I nodded holding back the wave of emotion that crashed against the walls of where my heart once sat.

I mechanically walked my girls back to our cabin. I barely held myself together. My girls knew something was wrong. I was grateful they had showered and were ready to go to sleep. I turned out the lights and went outside. I wept on my cabin steps. I had never felt so scared or unwhole in my entire life. Never had I felt so alone or trapped. It was only week one. How would I survive nine more? Here, with him?

My friend Katie joined me as quickly as she could. My sweet and mercy giving friend. She sat with me and hugged me. And so it began, the longest summer of my life filled with more struggle and heartache than I ever knew I could handle. A summer that tore me down into nothing so that God by His grace could build me back up again.

Part One of My Story
 

Speaking Life or Death: The Power of the Tongue

 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21

“Ashlee, just keep your mouth shut.” I preached these words to myself as my blood began to boil. I was angry and I had things that I wanted to say. Things that NEEDED to be said, but I knew better than to speak in the moment. So I kept silent and began to pray. I could have spoken my mind. I could have told them exactly what I thought, but what would that profit? Would it lead them to repentance? Would it drive them to sit at the feet of Jesus. Or would it simply make their hearts hard and proud?

Watch Your Mouth

The books of James has much for us to learn about the words we allow to roll off our tongue.  James 3 tells us that the tongue is a fire and should be controlled like a horse with a bit in it’s mouth. It parallels the tongue with a small flame that can set an entire forest on fire and a fountain that cannot produce both sweet and bitter water. The words we say matter. They reveal whether or not we live submitted to Jesus (like a horse with a bit in it’s mouth). Our words expose whether our fountain springs from the fresh water of Jesus or the bitter water of the devil.

The Battle Rages on

Recently I have battled my tongue. I have battled when to say something, how to say, if I should even say it. I have watched others hurt because of words spoken by a fellow believers. In those moments I wonder as a follower of Jesus, what am I to do?

My Heart is the Issue

Often, I bite my tongue, not because a conversation doesn’t need to take place, but because my heart is not right. Many times I am driven by emotion (remember my story above?) All I wanted to do was chastise and yell. I did not desire those I wanted to speak to be led to repentance. Instead I desired to be right and to show them they were wrong. My pride swelled…”Ah Ha”, I thought, “I WAS right”. Before I speak I know I must consider my own heart. If my heart is swollen with pride and anger how can I even lead anyone to Jesus? First I must deal with the sin swelling within my heart.

Seek the Lord

I must also stop in that moment and seek the Lord before I speak. There are times God does not want me to speak. He calls me to be silent and watch Him work. Other times, He clearly affirms that I need to have a conversation with someone. The key here is surrendering my will to His will. My desire will always be to speak, but I need to stop and seek the Lord to know if it is His desire for me to speak. I must be silent, and sit at His feet, waiting for His will.

Don’t Let Fear Rule You

Sometimes I know God wants me to speak, but fear freezes the words in my mouth. I am afraid that person will get mad at me. I worry they will fight back. I wonder what they might say about me behind my back. Worrisome fear is not of the Lord and we must reject the desire to be silent because we are afraid of the outcome.

Speak with Grace & Remember the Goal - Repentance

Ephesians 4:29 tells us "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear". Before you speak ask yourself “Are my words edifying? Will they give grace to those who hear? I do not mean sugary words full of warm fuzzies. However, my words need to be seasoned with God’s grace geared toward repentance and heart change, not simply a change of action. True repentance brings about heart change that  results in life change. A heart that repents, turns away from their sin, and walks toward Jesus is the goal. So as you sit down to have that conversation, remember the goal, it’s not to be right, it’s to lead that person back to the feet of Jesus. 

Remember It's Him not Me

Even when God calls me to speak, it is His Holy Spirit who works in the heart of His people. It's not me, not my words. It's all Him. He is God, I am not. I must trust Him to move in the hearts of His people and remember it's not me.

I sat nervously, waiting for my lead into the conversation. I felt the Holy Spirit press me "Ask." As I began to ask questions (instead of accusing) I saw that God was already moving in the situation. The hard conversation I prepared for melted away and our discussion continued. I shared some words of caution and affirmed what God was already showing them. Our conversation ended with me reminding them to sit at the feet of Jesus. I walked to my car grateful for the movement of the Holy Spirit and reminded that God doesn't need me to move in the hearts of His people. Sometimes He calls me to speak and sometimes He asks me to stay silent, but He is always the one who works.

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Coffee & Crafting

Last fall the girls from my college ministry and I had a day of Coffee and Crafting. My friend Heather organized a day of crafting she calls Create Christmas. Heather picked out half a dozen crafts that could be made for $5. Heather described Create Christmas like this "You see, I love to craft. I love to teach. I love to give gifts. Mix it all together and you have one of my favorite things I do all year." You don't have to be a crafter to have fun at Create Christmas. With each craft there were easy to follow instructions. I used Create Christmas as a fun event for my college girls I called Coffee and Crafting.

We started off Coffee and Crafting at our local Starbucks. We loaded up on caffeine and enjoyed sweet conversation. 

After getting fueled up, we drove over to my friend Heather's church which was the site of Create Christmas. When we got there the fun was already underway. Heather is a pro and Create Christmas was organized beautifully! We signed in, got our instructions, and got to work. 

We spent the entire day crafting. Each of Heather's crafts were easy to do and fun to make. I think we made almost every craft.

I went with the full intention of making gifts for my friends, but I ended up making decor for my bedroom (sorry friends!). Once we were finished our crafts, we checked out and paid for the number of crafts we made.

Our first Coffee & Crafting was a major success! I can't wait for next year! 

Deeply Rooted Lies

Wearing glasses for the first time, I walked down the hallway of my school. I wondered what people would think and was terrified of what they might say. Cliché phrases were floating around in my head, taunting me. A boy I liked looked at me and said “So when are you going to get contacts?” For my junior high self, these words demolished the way I viewed myself in glasses. The word UGLY immediately appeared tattooed on my forehead. I went home that day and told my mom I NEEDED contacts.

Over a decade later those words still ring in my ears.  The wound is fresh in my heart. I don't wear my glasses unless I HAVE to and when I do my UGLY tattoo resurfaces.

I never realized this was silly. It was rooted deep in my self perception. Those words were wrapped around my heart and mind so tightly I believed it to be true. My husband noticed my glasses insecurity when we were dating. He dug deep and asked me hard questions. He sweetly encouraged me and told me he thought I was beautiful in my glasses. Ashamedly I admit I did not believe him.  

Recently my insecurity reappeared when I needed new glasses. My new glasses came in and I prayed they would look okay. As I headed to church the insecurity of my junior high self rushed back. The taunting voice reemerged. My husband hugged me tightly and told me how beautiful I looked. I still wasn’t sure. I felt self-conscious. It returned the next day when I went to work. Will they like them? I wondered. No matter how many times I heard how great they looked my self-consciousness and insecurity grew.

I finally wondered…What is wrong with me? Why did words spoken more than a decade ago still hold so much weight? I began to dig into my heart. And the UGLY truth came out.  

I realized my wounded heart rejected God’s Word. I chose to walk in insecurity and self-scrutiny. The wound never healed because I continued to believe it. And sin was exposed in my heart. I thought I walked in truth, never realizing I lived in a lie. I recognized that I doubted Psalm 139:14 “I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well” and  altered it with “except when I wear my glasses.” I lived in the lie so long I didn’t know what was true.

I wonder, how often lies are allowed to fester in our hearts and minds? Do we perceive our rejection of God's Word? How do we deal with deeply rooted lies? God's Word gives a clear answer:

Recognize the battle going on. 1 Peter 5:8 tells us to “be of sober spirit, be on alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”

Remember the war is not a fleshly war. 2 Corinthians 10:3, tells us “ though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh.” Ephesians 6:12 reminds us “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.”

Stand firm against the enemy. Ephesians 6:11,13 reminds us to stand firm “Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil.” &; “Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm.”

Take our thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says “We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.”

Run to Jesus and His Word to replace the lies. Romans 12:2 tells us “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” Only Jesus and His Word hold the power to transform our minds, hearts, and lives. We cannot transform ourselves, He must do it!

The battle is real. I know it well. Are lies rooted deep in your heart?  I encourage you to dig deep and deal with them. Stop permitting them to grow and fester. They do not belong in your heart. I know it’s messy and it hurts. Seek Jesus, He is faithful to overcome. He is bigger and greater and stronger than any deeply rooted lie.

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The Prayer that Changed Everything (My Story Part One)

Tears streaming down my face, I rocked on the deck in the early morning, Bible and journal in hand, begging God to move.  I was desperate, my heart had been ripped out.  All of my hopes and dreams had come crashing down. All I had left was to beg God to intervene. Over and over I repeated, God please change his mind, God please change his mind. It felt like God was silent yet God in His sweet gentle way met me in that rocking chair. He gently asked me “Ashlee, are you willing to hear no?” I brushed off the feeling with dread, fearful of what it would mean for God to say no.

A few days went by, there I was on the back porch, kneeling on the hard concrete, a sheet of rain blasting on my face. The wind blowing all around me. Rejection freshly gnawing at my heart.  Again I begged over and over “God please change his mind!” Once again God met me and sweetly whispered in my ear “Ashlee, are you willing to hear no?” And I knew what He was asking me to do. Yet I clung so tight to my hopes and dreams and desperately wanted God to put the pieces back together. I knew what God wanted, yet I was afraid to let go. I was afraid being willing to hear no meant He would actually say no. And that would just ruin everything. And there on that porch, I opened up my hands and I cried out to the Lord and I gave it all over to Him. I told Him, that even if the answer was no, that it was okay.

I woke up out of a dead sleep that night and I heard God speak so clearly I would have swore to you He spoke audibly to me “Ashlee, let it go.” That was all that He said and I knew exactly what that meant. For days I had asked him to change the mind of someone else and I knew without a doubt, that God wanted me to change my mind.  I went back to sleep sure of what God told me, my heart heavy.  

God is NOT my genie.... 

Up until that point I had treated prayer as Aladdin’s lamp and God was my genie. Yet God taught me a vital lesson. Sometimes His answer is no. I do not always get what I want when I pray, because God is not a genie waiting there to abide by my request. Instead, He is the Lord God Almighty, who reigns and rules in my life. I submit to Him, He does not submit to me.

What I want MAY NOT be what HE WANTS. What HE wants is BETTER!

God also taught me that what He wants is not always what I want. What I thought were my hopes and dreams were really nothing compared to what God had for me. In fact what He had planned for me was better than anything I could have ever imagined. 

 It changed the way I Pray. It changed EVERYTHING...

And it changed me. It changed the way I viewed God and the way I approached Him. It changed the way I seek Him and even the way I pray. I desire changed from "God do...." to "If your presence does not go with us do not send us up from here" Exodus 33:15. In stead of telling God what to do I began asking Him where He wanted me to go and what He wanted me to do even who He wanted me to date. And I began to wait on Him and His presence instead of trying to make things happen.

You see, I am quite the control freak. I want things to be my way (all the time). And for the first time in my life God said no in a very big way. It left me lost and confused. I wasn’t sure which way was up. All of a sudden the story of my life was completely blank. I was headed into my senior year of college with no clue where I was going or what God wanted. So I began to seek Him more than I ever had before. I began to seek His will before I did anything. I began to ask Him to make His will clear to me, so clear that I could not miss it. And He did, He called me to ministry, and seminary, and a state I never would have chosen. His plan was really so much better than the one I desperately clung to on the porch with the rain and the wind beating around me.